My client sat across the table telling me about her late husband — first, his diagnosis of dementia, and then, his suicide a few years later.
On the night before he took his own life, she had finally gathered the strength to tell him he needed to turn their finances over to her. Larger than life when he was healthy, he had been a tremendous businessman. But the dementia had robbed him of sound decision-making, and she needed to protect what was left of their shrinking nest egg.
She asked me, “What should I have done?”
In the years since his death, she couldn’t help wondering whether that final financial conversation had been the tipping point in his waning will to live. It wasn’t her fault; she had supported him throughout his illness with an unmatched strength of conviction and marital devotion. It’s pointless to try to judge the effect of a particular conversation, because he had suffered for a decade. The disease had torn through their lives, leaving a series of wreckages: their relationships, his ability to handle even menial tasks, and — perhaps most painful — his self-esteem.
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